The Domestic Monastary

I view my life in my home as being the Abbess for a Domestic monastary.  In that, I am not just a "home manager" but also the spiritual guide for my aspirants.  I found this particularly helpful post on the home schooling forum to guide me in delegating duties.

Look to the old, faithful monasteries...they were designed to eliminate idleness and they were often located in cities. Read the rule of St. Benedict--the chapter "On Manual Labor". Note that EVEN ON SUNDAYS--if people were idle, they were assigned work to do. Here are real-life, practical things I do. These aren't online forum things I WISH I did...these are things I do. 1. I use a Blackberry for business and I use the Task List app constantly. Any time I see anything that needs to be done, I stop and jot it down. By the end of the day, I'll have collected 20+ tasks that I don't need to be the one to do. If I see a kid idle, I set him on the task list. "Put that broken picnic table bench in the trash." (15 min). "Go vaccuum out the carpets in the van." (30 min). "Go water the rose bushes out front." (30 min). "Go put a cup of chlorine in the pool and skim it." (45 min) "Go sweep the steps around the house." (30 min). "Go around the house and make sure all the lights are off." (10 min). If you don't voluntarily work in our house...you don't eat. Everyone is constantly doing good tasks because they want to eat. If kids do especially good tasks, they get rewards. For example, my kids normally eat grits for breakfast. Today, my son Jonathan went out and prepared all of our animal feed this morning by himself...and earned blueberry pancakes...just for him. Constant tasks, desirable rewards, undesirable punishments. It's really not complicated. If a kid wants to be stubborn, let him...you'll win because you own and control everything he enjoys. In ancient times, armies raised a siege against an enemy city and forced it to into submission. Parents can do the same. We control all the supply lines. If you have this mindset, your kids won't mess with you for long--and if you're generous, they'll serve you gladly. 2. We prefer to do things the "old-fashioned" way precisely because they are more laborious and occupy hands. I don't want an electric butter churn. I want my 6yo daughter to spend 25 minutes shaking cream in a mason jar until it's butter. I don't want my son to effortlessly and quickly clean the driveway with a leaf-blower. I want him to sweep it, inch-by-inch...and keep him busy for an hour. I don't want to fill the dishwasher and let it run on its own for 30 minutes. I want my two daughters, who have nothing better to do, to stand and wash and rinse and dry each dish by hand. If you multiply convenience appliances, you create idleness. Then, it's your fault. On the other hand, if I have to till a garden, I want convenience because that is not my primary responsibility. I have to get this done as quickly as possible. If my teenage sons are idle, they'll have hoes in their hands preparing the garden soil. My neighbor grew up in a family that grew cotton and he said him and his brothers were up by 5am every day in the summer and got to work in the fields--hoeing down weeds in acres and acres of cotton--as soon as there was enough light to see because if they didn't get their work done early...their father would make them do it the full heat of the afternoon. That's good parenting. 3. Remember the golden rule of chores: No one should be doing anything someone younger can do. If I see my wife doing baby work while the kids are idle and getting into trouble...I yell at HER...not the kids. It's lazy for moms to do baby work because they like to ignore the harder Mom work and pretend that they're busy...wiping tables off? sweeping floors? folding towels? vaccuuming? Please. That's 5 year old work--not adult women's work. The kids are idle and the REAL housewife's work is neglected...but the kids usually get the blame. Not fair..it's Mom's fault. Dad cutting grass all day Saturday while a 10yo boy sits around? Dad's fault. He's doing little boy work and is being irresponsible. He has to do 40 year old man work, not 10 year old boy work. Our society doesn't have many Christian men doing 40 year old man work, let along 60 year old man work. 20 year olds are playing video games (or worse), 30 year olds are working at Starbucks, 40 year olds are looking to buy nice cars, 50 year olds are learning how to budget money, 60 year olds are making excuses for what they've done for the past 40 years. Let's just call things like they are. Put the kids to work and get working on ADULT tasks. If you are (a) doing ALL of your household chores (even in a small apartment), (b) praying as much as you can/should throughout the day and (c) studying as you should ...how in the world can you have any idle time? It's impossible.

(written by Wm Michael on the CLAA family forum)