Whenever people start to gossip to me or around me, I'm like a deer in the headlights with my mind racing: "oh, dear, how can I make it stop?"
I've tried it all, defending the person, redirecting the conversation, sitting silently, openly saying I don't want to gossip. None of them are fool-proof. My final solution is to avoid said gossipers, because they are often serial gossipers.
One of the worst, the easiest to get sucked into & the hardest to recognize, is the "concerned friend." I've been sucked into conversations like that before, but what I've come to find is the even if the facts are right, the spin is typically wrong. And unfortunately, once someone has been damaged, that IS how people see them, even if proven false.
I've recently been in close association with a couple of serial gossipers; nice, funny, interesting people. But after spending a few hours (or a day) with them, deflecting, redirecting, biting my tongue, picking my words SO carefully, I come away exhausted. And with my brain full of negative thoughts about many in our mutual acquaintance.
