...and an awesome responsibility (for this requires we respond to God's blessing):
"This I pray, that your charity may more and more abound in knowledge, and in all understanding: That you may approve the better things, that you may be sincere and without offence unto the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of justice, through Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God." -Phlippians 1
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Parenting 101.
"For whom the Lord loveth, he chastiseth; and he scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. Persevere under discipline. God dealeth with you as with his sons; for what son is there, whom the father doth not correct? But if you be without chastisement, whereof all are made partakers, then are you bastards, and not sons. Moreover we have had fathers of our flesh, for instructors, and we reverenced them: shall we not much more obey the Father of spirits, and live? And they indeed for a few days, according to their own pleasure, instructed us: but he, for our profit, that we might receive his sanctification. Now all chastisement for the present indeed seemeth not to bring with it joy, but sorrow: but afterwards it will yield, to them that are exercised by it, the most peaceable fruit of justice. Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, And make straight steps with your feet: that no one, halting, may go out of the way; but rather be healed." -- Hebrews 12
Lord knows it would be so much EASIER to just give them their way. Thank God I love them enough to discipline them and myself.
Lord knows it would be so much EASIER to just give them their way. Thank God I love them enough to discipline them and myself.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Going to Confession!
When we are about to go to confession the first thing we should do is to PRAY TO THE HOLY SPIRIT to give us light to know and remember all our sins; to fully understand how displeasing they are to God, and to have a great sorrow for them, which includes the resolution of never committing them again. The next thing we should do is:
(1) "EXAMINATION OF CONSCIENCE"; and first of all we find out how long a time it is since our last confession, and whether we made a good confession then and received Holy Communion and performed our penance. The best method of examining is to take the Commandments and go over each one in our mind, seeing if we have broken it, and in what way; for example: First. "I am the Lord thy God; thou shalt not have strange gods before Me." Have I honored God? Have I said my prayers morning and night; have I said them with attention and devotion? Have I thanked God for all His blessings? Have I been more anxious to please others than to please God, or offended Him for the sake of others? Second "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain." Have I cursed? Have I taken God's name in vain or spoken without reverence of holy things? Third. "Remember thou keep holy the Sabbath day." Have I neglected to hear Mass through my own fault on Sundays and holy days of obligation? Have I kept others from Mass? Have I been late, and at what part of the Mass did I come in? Have I been willfully distracted at Mass or have I distracted others? Have I done servile work without necessity? Fourth. "Honor thy father and thy mother." Have I been disobedient to parents or others who have authority over me—to spiritual or temporal superiors, teachers, etc.? Have I slighted or been ashamed of parents because they were poor or uneducated? Have I neglected to give them what help I could when they were in need of it? Have I spoken of them with disrespect or called them names that were not proper? Fifth. "Thou shalt not kill." Have I done anything that might lead to killing? Have I been angry or have I tried to take revenge? Have I borne hatred or tried to injure others? Have I given scandal? Sixth. "Thou shalt not commit adultery." Have I indulged in any bad thoughts, looked at any bad pictures or objects, listened to any bad conversation, told or listened to bad or immodest jokes or stories, or, in general, spoken of bad things? Have I done any bad actions or desired to do any while alone or with others? Seventh. "Thou shalt not steal." Have I stolen anything myself or helped or advised others to steal? Have I received anything or part of anything that I knew to be stolen? Do I owe money and not pay it when I can? Have I bought anything with the intention of never paying for it or at least knowing I never could pay for it? Have I made restitution when told to do so by my confessor; or have I put it off from time to time? Have I failed to give back what belonged to another? Have I found anything and not tried to discover its owner, or have I kept it in my possession after I knew to whom it belonged? Have I cheated in business or at games? Eighth. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor." Have I told lies or injured anyone by my talk? Have I told the faults of others without any necessity? It is not allowed to tell the faults of others—even when you tell the truth about them—unless some good comes of the telling. Ninth. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife." This can come into our examination on the Sixth Commandment. Tenth. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods." This can come into our examination on the Seventh Commandment.
After examining yourself on the Commandments of God, examine yourself on the Commandments of the Church.
First. "To hear Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation." This has been considered in the examination on the Third Commandment. Second "To fast and abstain on the days appointed." Have I knowingly eaten meat on Ash Wednesday or the Fridays of Lent, or not done some chosen penance on the other Fridays of the year, or not fasted on Ash Wednesday or Good Friday, unless I had good reason not to do so on account of poor health or other reason? Third. "To confess at least once a year." Is it over a year, and how much over it, since I have been to confession? Fourth. "To receive Holy Eucharist during the Easter time." Did I go to Holy Communion between the first Sunday of Lent and Trinity Sunday? If not, I have committed a mortal sin. Fifth. "To contribute to the support of our pastors." Have I helped the church and reasonably paid my share of its expenses—given to charity and the like, or have I made others pay for the light, heat, and other things that cost money in the church, and shared in their benefits without giving according to my means? Have I kept what was given me for the church or other charity, or stolen from the church and not stated that circumstance when I confessed that I stole? Sixth. "Not to marry persons who are not Catholics, or who are related to us within the third degree of kindred, or privately without witnesses, nor to solemnize marriage at forbidden times." Have I anything to tell on this Commandment?
After examining yourself on the Commandments of God and of His Church, examine yourself on the capital sins, especially on "Pride." Have I been impudent and stubborn, vain about my dress, and the like? Have I despised others simply on account of poverty or something they could not help? "Gluttony." Have I ever taken intoxicating drink to excess or broken a promise not to take it? Have I knowingly caused others to be intoxicated? "Sloth." Have I wasted my time willfully and neglected to do my duty at school or elsewhere? After examining yourself on the Commandments and capital sins, examine yourself on the duties of your state of life. If you are at school, how have you studied? You should study not alone to please your parents or teachers, but for the sake of learning. If you are at work, have you been faithful to your employer, and done your work well and honestly?
The above method is generally recommended as the best in the examination of conscience. But you need not follow these exact questions; you can ask yourself any questions you please: the above questions are given only as examples of what you might ask, and to show you how to question yourself. It is useless to take any list of sins in a prayerbook and examine yourself by it, confessing the sins just as they are given. If you do take such a list and find in it some questions or sins that you do not understand, do not trouble yourself about them. In asking yourself the questions, if you find you have sinned against a Commandment, stop and consider how many times. There are few persons who sin against all the Commandments. Some sin against one and some against another. Find out the worst sin you have and the one you have most frequently committed, and be sure of telling it.
(2) "HAVE SORROW FOR YOUR SINS." After examining your conscience and finding out the sins you have committed, the next thing is to be sorry for them. The sorrow is the most essential part in the whole Sacrament of Penance. In this Sacrament there are, as you know, three parts: contrition, confession, and satisfaction—and contrition is the most important part. When, therefore, we are preparing for confession, we should spend just as much time, and even more, in exciting ourselves to sorrow for our sins as in the examination of our conscience. Some persons forget this and spend all their time examining their conscience. We should pray for sorrow if we think we have none. Remember the act of contrition made at confession is not the sorrow, but only an outward sign by which we make known to the priest that we have the sorrow in our hearts, and therefore we must have the sorrow before making the confession—or at least, before receiving the absolution. Now what kind of sorrow must we have? Someone might say, I am not truly sorry because I cannot cry. If some of my friends died, I would be more sorry for that than for my sins. Do not make any such mistakes. The true and necessary kind of sorrow for sin is to know that by sin you have offended God, and now feel that it was very wrong, and that you have from this moment the firm determination never to offend Him more. If God adds to this a feeling that brings tears to your eyes, it is good, but not necessary.
(3) RESOLVE TO SIN NO MORE: Remember real sorrow for sin supposes and contains "a firm resolution" never to sin again. How can you say to God, "O my God, I am heartily sorry," etc., if you are waiting only for the next opportunity to sin? How can we be sorry for the past if we are going to do the same in the future? Do you think the thief would be sorry for his past thefts if he had his mind made up to steal again as soon as he had the chance? Ah, but you will say, nearly all persons sin again after confession. I know that; but when they were making their confession they thought they never would, and really meant never to sin again; but when temptation came, they forgot the good resolution, did not use God's help, and fell into sin again. I mean, therefore, that at the time you make the act of contrition you must really mean what you say and promise never to sin, and take every means you can to keep that promise. If you do fall afterwards, renew your promise as quickly as possible and make a greater effort than before. Be on your guard against those things that make you break your promise, and then your act of contrition will be a good one. A person may be afraid that he will fall again, but being afraid does not make his contrition worthless as long as he wishes, hopes, and intends never to sin again. We should always be afraid of falling into sin, and we will fall into it if we depend upon ourselves alone, and not on the help which God gives us in His grace.
(4) "CONFESS YOUR SINS." Having made the necessary preparation, you will next go into the confessional; and while you are waiting for the priest to hear you, you should say the Confiteor. When the priest turns to you, bless yourself and say: "Bless me, father, for I have sinned. It is a month or a week (or whatever time it may be) since my last confession, and I have since committed these sins." Then tell your sins as you found them in examining yourself. In confession you must tell only such things as are sins. You must not tell all the details and a long story with every sin. For example, if a boy should confess that he went to see a friend, and after that met another friend, and when he came home he was asked what had kept him, and he told a lie. Now, the going to see the friend and the meeting of the other friend, and all the rest, was not a sin: the sin was telling the lie, and that was all that should have been confessed. Therefore, tell only the sins. Then tell only your own sins, and be very careful not to mention anyone's name—even your own—in confession. Be brief, and do not say, I broke the First Commandment or the Second by doing so and so; tell the sin simply as it is, and the priest himself will know what Commandment you violated. Again, when you have committed a sin several times a day do not multiply that by the number of days since your last confession and say to the priest, I have told lies, for example, four hundred and forty-two times. Such things only confuse you and make you forget your sins. Simply say, I am in the habit of telling lies, about so many, three or four—or whatever number it may be—times a day. Never say "sometimes" or "often" when you are telling the number of your sins. Sometimes might mean ten or it might mean twenty times. How then can the priest know the number by that expression? Give the number as nearly as you can, and if you do not know the whole number give the number of times a day, etc. Never say "maybe" I did so and so; because maybe you did not, and the priest cannot judge. Tell what you consider your worst sin first, then if there be any sin you are ashamed to tell or do not know how to tell, say to the priest: "Father, I have a sin I am ashamed to tell, or a sin I do not know how to tell"; and then the priest will ask you some questions and help you to tell it. But never think of going away from the confessional with some sin that you did not tell. The devil sometimes tempts people to do this, because he does not like to see them in a state of grace and friends of God. When you are committing the sin, he makes you believe it is not a great sin, and that you can tell it in confession; but after you have committed it he makes you believe that it is a most terrible sin, and that if you tell it, the priest will scold you severely. So it is concealed and the person leaves the confessional with a new sin upon his soul—that of sacrilege. When Judas was tempted to betray Our Lord, he thought thirty pieces of silver a great deal of money; and then, after he had committed the sin, he cared nothing for the money, but went and threw it away, and thought his sin so dreadful that he hanged himself, dying in despair.
It is not necessary to tell the priest the exact words you said in cursing or in bad conversation, unless he asks you; but simply say, Father, I cursed so many times. Do not speak too loud in the confessional, but loud enough for the priest to hear you. If you are deaf, do not go into the confessional while others are near, but wait till all have been heard and then go in last, or ask the priest to hear you someplace else.
(5) RECEIVE PENANCE: Listen attentively to hear what "penance" the priest gives you, and say the act of contrition while he pronounces the words of absolution; and above all, never leave the confessional till the priest closes the little door or tells you to go. If the priest does not say at what particular time you are to say your penance, say it as soon as you can.
When you have, told all your sins, you will say: "For these and all the sins of my whole life, especially any I have forgotten, I am heartily sorry, and ask pardon and penance." Listen to the priest's advice, and answer simply any question he may ask you. If you should forget a mortal sin in confession and remember it the same day or evening, or while you are still in the church, it will not be necessary to wait and go to confession again. It is forgiven already, because it was included in your forgotten sins; but you must tell it the next time you go to confession, saying before your regular confession: In my last confession I forgot this sin. Of course if you tried to forget your sins your confession would be invalid. It is only when you examine your conscience with all reasonable care, and then after all forget some sins, that such forgotten sins are forgiven.
Source: CLAA Catechism, Lesson 36 (Baltimore Catechism #4, Lesson 17)
(1) "EXAMINATION OF CONSCIENCE"; and first of all we find out how long a time it is since our last confession, and whether we made a good confession then and received Holy Communion and performed our penance. The best method of examining is to take the Commandments and go over each one in our mind, seeing if we have broken it, and in what way; for example: First. "I am the Lord thy God; thou shalt not have strange gods before Me." Have I honored God? Have I said my prayers morning and night; have I said them with attention and devotion? Have I thanked God for all His blessings? Have I been more anxious to please others than to please God, or offended Him for the sake of others? Second "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain." Have I cursed? Have I taken God's name in vain or spoken without reverence of holy things? Third. "Remember thou keep holy the Sabbath day." Have I neglected to hear Mass through my own fault on Sundays and holy days of obligation? Have I kept others from Mass? Have I been late, and at what part of the Mass did I come in? Have I been willfully distracted at Mass or have I distracted others? Have I done servile work without necessity? Fourth. "Honor thy father and thy mother." Have I been disobedient to parents or others who have authority over me—to spiritual or temporal superiors, teachers, etc.? Have I slighted or been ashamed of parents because they were poor or uneducated? Have I neglected to give them what help I could when they were in need of it? Have I spoken of them with disrespect or called them names that were not proper? Fifth. "Thou shalt not kill." Have I done anything that might lead to killing? Have I been angry or have I tried to take revenge? Have I borne hatred or tried to injure others? Have I given scandal? Sixth. "Thou shalt not commit adultery." Have I indulged in any bad thoughts, looked at any bad pictures or objects, listened to any bad conversation, told or listened to bad or immodest jokes or stories, or, in general, spoken of bad things? Have I done any bad actions or desired to do any while alone or with others? Seventh. "Thou shalt not steal." Have I stolen anything myself or helped or advised others to steal? Have I received anything or part of anything that I knew to be stolen? Do I owe money and not pay it when I can? Have I bought anything with the intention of never paying for it or at least knowing I never could pay for it? Have I made restitution when told to do so by my confessor; or have I put it off from time to time? Have I failed to give back what belonged to another? Have I found anything and not tried to discover its owner, or have I kept it in my possession after I knew to whom it belonged? Have I cheated in business or at games? Eighth. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor." Have I told lies or injured anyone by my talk? Have I told the faults of others without any necessity? It is not allowed to tell the faults of others—even when you tell the truth about them—unless some good comes of the telling. Ninth. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife." This can come into our examination on the Sixth Commandment. Tenth. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods." This can come into our examination on the Seventh Commandment.
After examining yourself on the Commandments of God, examine yourself on the Commandments of the Church.
First. "To hear Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation." This has been considered in the examination on the Third Commandment. Second "To fast and abstain on the days appointed." Have I knowingly eaten meat on Ash Wednesday or the Fridays of Lent, or not done some chosen penance on the other Fridays of the year, or not fasted on Ash Wednesday or Good Friday, unless I had good reason not to do so on account of poor health or other reason? Third. "To confess at least once a year." Is it over a year, and how much over it, since I have been to confession? Fourth. "To receive Holy Eucharist during the Easter time." Did I go to Holy Communion between the first Sunday of Lent and Trinity Sunday? If not, I have committed a mortal sin. Fifth. "To contribute to the support of our pastors." Have I helped the church and reasonably paid my share of its expenses—given to charity and the like, or have I made others pay for the light, heat, and other things that cost money in the church, and shared in their benefits without giving according to my means? Have I kept what was given me for the church or other charity, or stolen from the church and not stated that circumstance when I confessed that I stole? Sixth. "Not to marry persons who are not Catholics, or who are related to us within the third degree of kindred, or privately without witnesses, nor to solemnize marriage at forbidden times." Have I anything to tell on this Commandment?
After examining yourself on the Commandments of God and of His Church, examine yourself on the capital sins, especially on "Pride." Have I been impudent and stubborn, vain about my dress, and the like? Have I despised others simply on account of poverty or something they could not help? "Gluttony." Have I ever taken intoxicating drink to excess or broken a promise not to take it? Have I knowingly caused others to be intoxicated? "Sloth." Have I wasted my time willfully and neglected to do my duty at school or elsewhere? After examining yourself on the Commandments and capital sins, examine yourself on the duties of your state of life. If you are at school, how have you studied? You should study not alone to please your parents or teachers, but for the sake of learning. If you are at work, have you been faithful to your employer, and done your work well and honestly?
The above method is generally recommended as the best in the examination of conscience. But you need not follow these exact questions; you can ask yourself any questions you please: the above questions are given only as examples of what you might ask, and to show you how to question yourself. It is useless to take any list of sins in a prayerbook and examine yourself by it, confessing the sins just as they are given. If you do take such a list and find in it some questions or sins that you do not understand, do not trouble yourself about them. In asking yourself the questions, if you find you have sinned against a Commandment, stop and consider how many times. There are few persons who sin against all the Commandments. Some sin against one and some against another. Find out the worst sin you have and the one you have most frequently committed, and be sure of telling it.
(2) "HAVE SORROW FOR YOUR SINS." After examining your conscience and finding out the sins you have committed, the next thing is to be sorry for them. The sorrow is the most essential part in the whole Sacrament of Penance. In this Sacrament there are, as you know, three parts: contrition, confession, and satisfaction—and contrition is the most important part. When, therefore, we are preparing for confession, we should spend just as much time, and even more, in exciting ourselves to sorrow for our sins as in the examination of our conscience. Some persons forget this and spend all their time examining their conscience. We should pray for sorrow if we think we have none. Remember the act of contrition made at confession is not the sorrow, but only an outward sign by which we make known to the priest that we have the sorrow in our hearts, and therefore we must have the sorrow before making the confession—or at least, before receiving the absolution. Now what kind of sorrow must we have? Someone might say, I am not truly sorry because I cannot cry. If some of my friends died, I would be more sorry for that than for my sins. Do not make any such mistakes. The true and necessary kind of sorrow for sin is to know that by sin you have offended God, and now feel that it was very wrong, and that you have from this moment the firm determination never to offend Him more. If God adds to this a feeling that brings tears to your eyes, it is good, but not necessary.
(3) RESOLVE TO SIN NO MORE: Remember real sorrow for sin supposes and contains "a firm resolution" never to sin again. How can you say to God, "O my God, I am heartily sorry," etc., if you are waiting only for the next opportunity to sin? How can we be sorry for the past if we are going to do the same in the future? Do you think the thief would be sorry for his past thefts if he had his mind made up to steal again as soon as he had the chance? Ah, but you will say, nearly all persons sin again after confession. I know that; but when they were making their confession they thought they never would, and really meant never to sin again; but when temptation came, they forgot the good resolution, did not use God's help, and fell into sin again. I mean, therefore, that at the time you make the act of contrition you must really mean what you say and promise never to sin, and take every means you can to keep that promise. If you do fall afterwards, renew your promise as quickly as possible and make a greater effort than before. Be on your guard against those things that make you break your promise, and then your act of contrition will be a good one. A person may be afraid that he will fall again, but being afraid does not make his contrition worthless as long as he wishes, hopes, and intends never to sin again. We should always be afraid of falling into sin, and we will fall into it if we depend upon ourselves alone, and not on the help which God gives us in His grace.
(4) "CONFESS YOUR SINS." Having made the necessary preparation, you will next go into the confessional; and while you are waiting for the priest to hear you, you should say the Confiteor. When the priest turns to you, bless yourself and say: "Bless me, father, for I have sinned. It is a month or a week (or whatever time it may be) since my last confession, and I have since committed these sins." Then tell your sins as you found them in examining yourself. In confession you must tell only such things as are sins. You must not tell all the details and a long story with every sin. For example, if a boy should confess that he went to see a friend, and after that met another friend, and when he came home he was asked what had kept him, and he told a lie. Now, the going to see the friend and the meeting of the other friend, and all the rest, was not a sin: the sin was telling the lie, and that was all that should have been confessed. Therefore, tell only the sins. Then tell only your own sins, and be very careful not to mention anyone's name—even your own—in confession. Be brief, and do not say, I broke the First Commandment or the Second by doing so and so; tell the sin simply as it is, and the priest himself will know what Commandment you violated. Again, when you have committed a sin several times a day do not multiply that by the number of days since your last confession and say to the priest, I have told lies, for example, four hundred and forty-two times. Such things only confuse you and make you forget your sins. Simply say, I am in the habit of telling lies, about so many, three or four—or whatever number it may be—times a day. Never say "sometimes" or "often" when you are telling the number of your sins. Sometimes might mean ten or it might mean twenty times. How then can the priest know the number by that expression? Give the number as nearly as you can, and if you do not know the whole number give the number of times a day, etc. Never say "maybe" I did so and so; because maybe you did not, and the priest cannot judge. Tell what you consider your worst sin first, then if there be any sin you are ashamed to tell or do not know how to tell, say to the priest: "Father, I have a sin I am ashamed to tell, or a sin I do not know how to tell"; and then the priest will ask you some questions and help you to tell it. But never think of going away from the confessional with some sin that you did not tell. The devil sometimes tempts people to do this, because he does not like to see them in a state of grace and friends of God. When you are committing the sin, he makes you believe it is not a great sin, and that you can tell it in confession; but after you have committed it he makes you believe that it is a most terrible sin, and that if you tell it, the priest will scold you severely. So it is concealed and the person leaves the confessional with a new sin upon his soul—that of sacrilege. When Judas was tempted to betray Our Lord, he thought thirty pieces of silver a great deal of money; and then, after he had committed the sin, he cared nothing for the money, but went and threw it away, and thought his sin so dreadful that he hanged himself, dying in despair.
It is not necessary to tell the priest the exact words you said in cursing or in bad conversation, unless he asks you; but simply say, Father, I cursed so many times. Do not speak too loud in the confessional, but loud enough for the priest to hear you. If you are deaf, do not go into the confessional while others are near, but wait till all have been heard and then go in last, or ask the priest to hear you someplace else.
(5) RECEIVE PENANCE: Listen attentively to hear what "penance" the priest gives you, and say the act of contrition while he pronounces the words of absolution; and above all, never leave the confessional till the priest closes the little door or tells you to go. If the priest does not say at what particular time you are to say your penance, say it as soon as you can.
When you have, told all your sins, you will say: "For these and all the sins of my whole life, especially any I have forgotten, I am heartily sorry, and ask pardon and penance." Listen to the priest's advice, and answer simply any question he may ask you. If you should forget a mortal sin in confession and remember it the same day or evening, or while you are still in the church, it will not be necessary to wait and go to confession again. It is forgiven already, because it was included in your forgotten sins; but you must tell it the next time you go to confession, saying before your regular confession: In my last confession I forgot this sin. Of course if you tried to forget your sins your confession would be invalid. It is only when you examine your conscience with all reasonable care, and then after all forget some sins, that such forgotten sins are forgiven.
Source: CLAA Catechism, Lesson 36 (Baltimore Catechism #4, Lesson 17)
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
For our sons and daughters
Clean Love in Courtship by Father Lovasik. Here is a great excerpt:
How to Choose a Marriage Partner
The following questions will not only help you to fit yourself for leading a worthy and holy married life, but also enable you to choose a partner in marriage intelligently. These qualifications apply to men and women alike.
1.Friendship
1. Is your friendship morally beneficial? Are you morally better or worse for having been with him, and what can you expect in the future? Would marriage with him help you to observe God’s commandments and practice your religious duties faithfully?
2. Imagine a crisis in your life (poverty, sickness) that might demand a high quality of virtue to remain faithful to God. Would he be a help to the practice of such virtue?
3. Does he drink too much? Gamble?
4. Does he want to indulge in petting, passionate kissing, even at the expense of chastity?
5. Does he control his temper? Has he a sense of humor? Can he keep a secret?
6. Does he practice his religion?
7. What are his views on divorce, on having children, on Catholic education, on frequenting the sacraments?
8. Can you actually point out any definite virtuous qualities, or are they put on for your benefit now?
2. Agreement
1.Is there at least a reasonable degree of similarity between you in regard to the recreations you like?
2.Could you both enjoy staying at home in the evening, especially when children come?
3. Are there any habits now that not only get on your nerves but which you find extraordinarily difficult to overlook?
4. Do you both fit into about the same kind of social life?
5. Does he get along with your family and you with his?
6.Have you both sufficient health for marriage?
7.What are his habits of life: cleanliness, orderliness, good manners, good grammar?
8.Are you able to harmonize judgments on things that pertain to family life: food, kind of house, furnishings, etc.?
9. Have you the same religion and the same standards concerning its practice?
10.Have you the same attitude towards children and their education?
11. Do you feel at ease together, regardless of what you talk about? If you do not meet for some time, are you able to take up where you left off, with something of the naturalness of a family reunion, or do you have to try to work up an acquaintance all over again?
12.Has he a nagging or reforming disposition?
13.Do you see his failings, and are you willing to tolerate them? Does he admit them and is he willing to get over them?
14.With children in mind, would you say that this person would be just the right other parent for them?
3.Self-Sacrifice
1.Is your prospective companion thoughtful of others and has he the power of self-discipline?
2.In his home does he show thoughtfulness of parents and brothers and sisters, and do you get the impression that this is his regular attitude?
3.What little kindnesses, not only to you but to others, have you noticed in him?
4.When he is wrong, does he admit it and try to make up for it?
5.Does he easily and graciously pass over others’ mistakes?
6.Does he look for sympathy too much?
7.Can he give sympathy willingly, or does some one else’s trouble always bring out a greater trouble of his?
8.Does he show that he knows his temper, and that jealousy and other unpleasant traits ought to be controlled?
If it is a Wife You Want:
1.Can she cook and make the house a home?
2.Has she that womanly quality that instinctively puts things in order?
3.Would this girl be a real mother?
4.Could she bear children and sacrifice for them?
5.Could she give the child that early introduction to God that he would never forget?
6.Is she convinced that motherhood is an all-day and an all-night job?
7.How does she speak of children? How does she treat them?
8.What do her younger brothers and sisters think of her?
If is a Husband You Want:
1.How does he like children?
2.Does he like to work? Can he hold a job?
3.Has he a sense of responsibility?
4.Is he “grown up,” or does he have to be pampered?
5.Is he unduly jealous? A braggart? An alibi artist? Is he courteous?
Such questions will bring ,you down to earth and keep you from estimating things merely on the score of fascination. Many of the points are not in themselves important; the general picture that is created by the various answers is very important. Many points cannot be tested out before marriage, but glaring risks can be easily recognized. Though these characteristics need not be present in a high degree at the time of marriage, the beginnings should be present, or at least a genuine willingness and effort to improve.
If there is question of reforming your friend, it should be done before, not after marriage. Do not put your faith in vague promises which seldom materialize. If you cannot get along agreeably before marriage, it is almost certain that you will not get along after marriage.
The rest of the book can be found online here.
https://sites.google.com/site/catholicmarriagefamily/clean-love-in-courtship
How to Choose a Marriage Partner
The following questions will not only help you to fit yourself for leading a worthy and holy married life, but also enable you to choose a partner in marriage intelligently. These qualifications apply to men and women alike.
1.Friendship
1. Is your friendship morally beneficial? Are you morally better or worse for having been with him, and what can you expect in the future? Would marriage with him help you to observe God’s commandments and practice your religious duties faithfully?
2. Imagine a crisis in your life (poverty, sickness) that might demand a high quality of virtue to remain faithful to God. Would he be a help to the practice of such virtue?
3. Does he drink too much? Gamble?
4. Does he want to indulge in petting, passionate kissing, even at the expense of chastity?
5. Does he control his temper? Has he a sense of humor? Can he keep a secret?
6. Does he practice his religion?
7. What are his views on divorce, on having children, on Catholic education, on frequenting the sacraments?
8. Can you actually point out any definite virtuous qualities, or are they put on for your benefit now?
2. Agreement
1.Is there at least a reasonable degree of similarity between you in regard to the recreations you like?
2.Could you both enjoy staying at home in the evening, especially when children come?
3. Are there any habits now that not only get on your nerves but which you find extraordinarily difficult to overlook?
4. Do you both fit into about the same kind of social life?
5. Does he get along with your family and you with his?
6.Have you both sufficient health for marriage?
7.What are his habits of life: cleanliness, orderliness, good manners, good grammar?
8.Are you able to harmonize judgments on things that pertain to family life: food, kind of house, furnishings, etc.?
9. Have you the same religion and the same standards concerning its practice?
10.Have you the same attitude towards children and their education?
11. Do you feel at ease together, regardless of what you talk about? If you do not meet for some time, are you able to take up where you left off, with something of the naturalness of a family reunion, or do you have to try to work up an acquaintance all over again?
12.Has he a nagging or reforming disposition?
13.Do you see his failings, and are you willing to tolerate them? Does he admit them and is he willing to get over them?
14.With children in mind, would you say that this person would be just the right other parent for them?
3.Self-Sacrifice
1.Is your prospective companion thoughtful of others and has he the power of self-discipline?
2.In his home does he show thoughtfulness of parents and brothers and sisters, and do you get the impression that this is his regular attitude?
3.What little kindnesses, not only to you but to others, have you noticed in him?
4.When he is wrong, does he admit it and try to make up for it?
5.Does he easily and graciously pass over others’ mistakes?
6.Does he look for sympathy too much?
7.Can he give sympathy willingly, or does some one else’s trouble always bring out a greater trouble of his?
8.Does he show that he knows his temper, and that jealousy and other unpleasant traits ought to be controlled?
If it is a Wife You Want:
1.Can she cook and make the house a home?
2.Has she that womanly quality that instinctively puts things in order?
3.Would this girl be a real mother?
4.Could she bear children and sacrifice for them?
5.Could she give the child that early introduction to God that he would never forget?
6.Is she convinced that motherhood is an all-day and an all-night job?
7.How does she speak of children? How does she treat them?
8.What do her younger brothers and sisters think of her?
If is a Husband You Want:
1.How does he like children?
2.Does he like to work? Can he hold a job?
3.Has he a sense of responsibility?
4.Is he “grown up,” or does he have to be pampered?
5.Is he unduly jealous? A braggart? An alibi artist? Is he courteous?
Such questions will bring ,you down to earth and keep you from estimating things merely on the score of fascination. Many of the points are not in themselves important; the general picture that is created by the various answers is very important. Many points cannot be tested out before marriage, but glaring risks can be easily recognized. Though these characteristics need not be present in a high degree at the time of marriage, the beginnings should be present, or at least a genuine willingness and effort to improve.
If there is question of reforming your friend, it should be done before, not after marriage. Do not put your faith in vague promises which seldom materialize. If you cannot get along agreeably before marriage, it is almost certain that you will not get along after marriage.
The rest of the book can be found online here.
https://sites.google.com/site/catholicmarriagefamily/clean-love-in-courtship
Monday, August 22, 2011
Prayer to the Sacred Heart of Jesus for husband and wife
Prayer to the Sacred Heart of Jesus for husband and wife to say in their own behalf.
O most Sacred Heart of Jesus, King and center of all hearts, dwell in our hearts and be our King; grant us by Your grace to love each other truly and chastely, even as You have loved Our spotless Bride, the Chruch and have given Yourself up for her.
Bestow upon us that mutual love and Christian forebearance which are so highly acceptable in Your sight, and a mutual patience in bearing each other's defects; for we are certain that no living creature is free from them. Do not permit even the slightest defect to mar that full and gentle harmony of spirit, the foundation of the mutual assistance in the many and varied hardships of life, that is the end for which woman was created and united inseparably to her husband.
Grant, we bessech you, that our good example of Christian living may serve as a powerful inspiration to our children to conform their own lives to Your holy law; and finally, after this exile may we ascend into heaven, where by the help of Your grace, for which we earnestly pray, we may merit to be joined with our children forever and praise and bless Your through everlasting ages, Amen.
If there is no children, the prayer reads this in place of the last paragraph.
O Lord God, grant that between us there may reign a perpetual holy rivalry toward a life perfectly Christian, by virtue of which there may shine forth more and more clearly as You have deigned to imprint it upon us on the auspicious day of our being made one. Amen.
O most Sacred Heart of Jesus, King and center of all hearts, dwell in our hearts and be our King; grant us by Your grace to love each other truly and chastely, even as You have loved Our spotless Bride, the Chruch and have given Yourself up for her.
Bestow upon us that mutual love and Christian forebearance which are so highly acceptable in Your sight, and a mutual patience in bearing each other's defects; for we are certain that no living creature is free from them. Do not permit even the slightest defect to mar that full and gentle harmony of spirit, the foundation of the mutual assistance in the many and varied hardships of life, that is the end for which woman was created and united inseparably to her husband.
Grant, we bessech you, that our good example of Christian living may serve as a powerful inspiration to our children to conform their own lives to Your holy law; and finally, after this exile may we ascend into heaven, where by the help of Your grace, for which we earnestly pray, we may merit to be joined with our children forever and praise and bless Your through everlasting ages, Amen.
If there is no children, the prayer reads this in place of the last paragraph.
O Lord God, grant that between us there may reign a perpetual holy rivalry toward a life perfectly Christian, by virtue of which there may shine forth more and more clearly as You have deigned to imprint it upon us on the auspicious day of our being made one. Amen.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
The Domestic Monastary
I view my life in my home as being the Abbess for a Domestic monastary. In that, I am not just a "home manager" but also the spiritual guide for my aspirants. I found this particularly helpful post on the home schooling forum to guide me in delegating duties.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Friendship is what you put into it, not what you get out of it.
I have a friendship that is a source of much holiness. It is a friendship whereby I am constantly called to give. I do not get affirmation. I deny my wishes. What is remarkable about this friendship is that it works mostly in absentia. This is a spiritual friendship. This is a friendship that calls me to holiness. It is a friendship that affords me time to contemplate what God is calling me to in my life: holiness.
During a recently stressful time in my friendship, after much prayer and contemplation, God very clearly spoke to me:
During a recently stressful time in my friendship, after much prayer and contemplation, God very clearly spoke to me:
Friendship is what you put into it, not what you get out of it.
What does this mean? What this means to me is that it doesn't matter how hard my friendship is, it means that it doesn't matter what my friend thinks of me, whether I am affirmed or enjoy my friendship, I am called to love and give without consideration of the cost. What this means to me is that I have turned a corner. It means that I am no longer looking at me but looking at another.
I am broken. I am sinful. I am fickle and selfish. I am sometimes vindictive. I am proud and gluttonous. God seeks me anyways. I am called to be poured out, empty. I am called to be holy. I am called to be constant, giving, gentle, humble, and temperate.
And now there remain faith, hope, and charity, these three:
but the greatest of these is charity.
but the greatest of these is charity.
1 Corinthians 13;13
What is charity? Charity is love, love in action. Charity is not a feeling. Charity isn't about what makes us feel affirmed, it's about what makes another feel love, joy, or peace. When we stop looking at ourselves, our behavior toward others becomes very clear.
In the small details, it's not talking, but rather listening. I have found love in silence.
It's not churning about with our own agenda, but looking at others to anticipate their needs. I have found peace in stillness.
It's reaching out to another, physically or emotionally. I have found joy in giving.
How does this feel? It feels empty. But not in the sense that one has a hole that one needs to fill up, rather that one is full of another.
"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me;
In your marriage, with your children, and with others, be silent and still that you may give to others; for it is in being emptied of ourselves and subsequently filled with Christ that we will achieve perfect communion with Him.
"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me;
and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God,
who loved me and gave Himself up for me."
Galatians 2:20
In your marriage, with your children, and with others, be silent and still that you may give to others; for it is in being emptied of ourselves and subsequently filled with Christ that we will achieve perfect communion with Him.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Why study Greek and Latin? Why a classical education?
The reason why St. Thomas or St. Augustine or St. Ignatius studied Latin and Greek was because they had a very different idea of language and its importance than people do today. In those days, a small number of students went to school and it was for an elite linguistic/philosophical/theological education that would serve them well in occuying the "learned professions". Today, ALL kids go to school, and most for no reason at all except that (a) it is required by law (for no real reason, of course) and (b) necessary for college admission (which is just assumed to be necessary for something).
The LIBERAL arts were historically studied by students who weren't concerned with making money. Such students were normally those who (a) belonged to wealthy families and didn't need to make money or (b) would one day take upon themselves the vow of poverty as religious and never work for money. No one was sitting around in the schools asking, "Is this going to help me get a job?" Of course, not, these are LIBERAL arts--the arts studied and used of those free from toil. ...[T]he classical liberal arts are not intended to make people wealthy if money is the chosen form of wealth. Kids who are destined to be "wage-earners" should be learning whatever the economy says needs to be learned.
When I talk about "wage-earners" I am referring to people who are simply doing something for a paycheck. That "something" is usually nothing they are happy about, interested in, etc.. They are living just to earn a wage. That, in the ancient world, was the life of a slave and not a free man...it is living to serve the happiness and increase the wealth of someone else for one's own basic needs. It is a life directed by the will of another, who is not even necessarily a good man or woman. It is a life where one's livelihood is in the hands of others and all he can do is hope they want him around. He can be replaced by 1,000 men and works for no lasting end.
Most people end up in that state because they WEREN'T properly prepared for adulthood, not because God willed it and forced them into it. It has nothing to do with farming or living in a suburb. It has to do with living for something greater than all the non-Christians around us are living for. Will we not differ from them in anything more than bumper stickers and Sunday activities? Is the Christian life really so near to the pagan life that a Christian and pagan man can spend the bulk of their days pursuing the same things?
I'm not interested in that sort of education and no one seeking such an education should pretend to have any interest in "classical" education....[I]f you know at age 5, 7, 8 or 12 that your son is destined to become one of 500 employees chained inside a cubicle under fluorescent lights, selling who-knows-what product to who-knows-who for a paycheck, then what's the point, really, of giving any attention to education beyond English and Arithmetic? This is the kind of argument made by modern schools that argue that kids shouldn't even learn to do Math any more, just use calculators. I mean, really, why bother with any learning at all if it's not necessary for that paycheck?
I just don't believe we are right in having such a dark and pessimistic view of kids. We're so impatient, and we spend time predicting the kids' futures based on their interests, attitudes and habits when they're hardly old enough to begin their studies and then, after we've removed them from all courses in life that would have enriched and edified them, we complain when they're shallow-minded and easily influenced by the world. Christian parents are raising kids with a fear of doing anything different, but then upset when their kids end up the same. I just don't get it.
THE PROBLEM IS THAT WE, IN DIRECTING OUR CHILDREN'S EDUCATION, SET THE LIMIT FOR WHAT OPTIONS WILL BE OPEN TO THEM IN THEIR ADULT LIFE.
I'll repeat that because it's the most important point I'll make:
THE PROBLEM IS THAT WE, IN DIRECTING OUR CHILDREN'S EDUCATION, SET THE LIMIT FOR WHAT OPTIONS WILL BE OPEN TO THEM IN THEIR ADULT LIFE.
If my son, for who knows what reason, would want to one day go find a job working in an office somewhere for as paycheck, he'd be able to with a classical liberal arts education. It would be a terrible waste, but the door would be open to him. He could do just about anything--from manage a farm to enter a monastery to pursue a medical degree. He's educated for life with a classical liberal arts education and is a "citizen of the world" (civis mundi) as Socrates said. If, on the other hand, I give him a bare-bones K-12 education, many doors are shut above him and those doors that are open to him are open to everyone else in his generation. Ultimately, he'll be competing with sinners for work and he'll be at a disadvantage. Can't work Sundays. Need time for family life. Have to support a family. Sinners may not have any such limitations...they can work 24/7, don't need to support anyone else, can travel anywhere and can even accept a lower wage. A future father is at a disadvantage in that job market and that's why Christian men should be discouraged from such a course. It isn't favorable for them.
Personally, I cannot understand why a boy with the prospect of spending his life toiling for a paycheck would not be intensely interested in religious life. Consider the freedom, the simplicity, the love and fellowship of the community, etc.. I can see a young man with a clear occupation provided for him, a successful and enjoyable family business, for example, choosing to remain in the world, start a family, live a balanced life of work, prayer and service, etc.. But a young man with no real plan, no clear vision for how he'll make it in business or trade choosing that instead of such a sure and stable path of life serving the Church without distraction? I don't understand it. Outside of America, this is just not how religious vocations are thought of. It is an American problem that religious life is seen to be a last-option ugly girl to be kept on hold just in case all the pretty girls turn our boys down. Other cultures consider religious life an honor for their families and one of the best ways of fulfilling the commandment to "honor your mother and father". Catholic schools that teach the boys the happiness of religious life, not surprisingly, produce many religious young men.
The question is not what the young boy thinks about the priesthood or religious life, or the learned professions.... He is supposed to be under the discipline and instruction of wiser and holier parents who are persuading him to pursue the best and happiest courses.
[I]t's the Church's mission--AS A WHOLE--to renew the world and that takes place at many different levels. We need to have a holistic understanding of the Church and her mission, not a silly evangelical "witness to your neighbor" idea that puts all kinds of fruitless pressure on people to neglect their daily responsibilities for some hope of converting random people. Does Hollywood gain its influence like that? Did Hitler gain his influence like that? No, they understand that society follows its leaders and the work of leaders trickles down from the highest places into the living rooms of every family by many different means.
St. Paul taught us how to understand the Church and its mission in 1 Corinthians 12:
"God indeed hath set some in the church; first apostles, secondly prophets, thirdly doctors; after that miracles; then the graces of healing, helps, governments, kinds of tongues, interpretations of speeches. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Are all workers of miracles? Have all the grace of healing? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret? But be zealous for the better gifts."
Therefore, the Church has many different "members" all of which perform a function within the "body of Christ" that is saving the world. The problem I have is that today, where all Christians are receiving a common education, who will the teachers be? When we look back through history, we see great doctors of the Church--St. Augustine, St. Thomas, St. Bonaventure, etc. We cannot imagine a Catholic Church without them. Doesn't anyone notice that nearly all of the doctors of the Church have something in common?
Personally, I think the whole "we need to be witnesses" hoopla that fills Christian circles has not been reflected on very much. It's lazy thinking that imagines that people need to be "reached" at the workplace. Can't they be left alone to WORK in the workplace? Do they producers of immoral music, pornography, heresies, etc., need to "reach" people at work? No, they primarily do their work in out-of-work social circles, schools and institutions that dominate people's lives. The Church is supposed to be one such dominating influence, but that dominance is weakening because it can't impact the higher levels of society for lack of wise, skilled manpower. Sure there are lots of faithful Catholic laypeople out there, complaining about bad Church music, bad Catholic colleges, bad Catholic schools, diminishing vocations, cloudy teaching, etc.. Well, why the heck do these problems exist? Because no one is committing themselves to raising children with mind prepared to do the work at the highest levels...to run universities, renew the priesthood, clarify Church teaching, transform monasteries, reform Church music, start new (and better) schools, etc.. Look, we've got lots of good Catholic accountants, carpenters, parish priests and housewives...but that's not where the problems are in our society. They're at the top and no one is "reaching" the sources of culture and ideas and social life that flow through the entire society. that is what is fundamentally different between modern Christianity and medieval Christianity. In medieval Christianity, the king of France was counseled by St. Thomas Aquinas and the entire nation was "reached" by true Christianity. Who reached more people, one wise man educated in the classical liberal arts or 10,000 Catholic laypeople in American cities? What we ignore is the fact that every society is dominated by certain philosophical ideas that fill that society like the air and influence everything. Fixing the philosophy fixes the society over time. Leaving the philosophy untouched or in the hands of others and working like crazy to fix all the effects of that philosophy is foolishness, not evangelism. Christianity was an obscure religion, hiding in caves and private meetings until...the Roman emperor converted. Then, almost overnight...the world was "reached", rather OVERTAKEN by Christianity. We've surrendered all of those victories in the past 200 years by allowing ourselves to be convinced that Christianity belongs back in the caves and private meeting rooms where it came from.
Jesus said, "Strike the shepherd and the sheep will be scattered." He taught that "No man can enter into the house of a strong man and rob him of his goods, unless he first bind the strong man, and then he shall plunder his house." David killed Goliath, and the Philistines were easily slaughtered.
Can't we see the problem? The leaders of the wicked movements and institutions sit in our society in ivory towers far from reach while silly Christians argue in the streets about things with people who are themselves controlled by others. Why then are we not training children to strike at the leaders of sinful society and bind the strong men in secular spheres? We're too busy engaging in fruitless works that the enemies of the Church don't fear because they know it's all bark and no bite.
Therefore, I don't believe this pressure to "REACH" others is a wise pressure, especially when young children have the opportunity to pursue the kind of learning that can equip them to get their hands at the springs from which all of the evils in our society flow and fix them there. That is the goal of the classical liberal arts.
[A]t the bare bones level, we must love God and our neighbor enter the kingdom of heaven. The ability to read Latin poetry, translate the Greek New Testament, use a potty, brush one's teeth, make bread, wash clothes, shovel snow, drive a car, write a check, mail a letter, deliver a baby and just about every other ability we can think of are not essential for eternal life.
Unfortunately, just as Jesus became a man and lived an ordinary human life, our salvation is worked in space and time. To perform the works of mercy, we must HAVE the things the needy NEED:
To feed the hungry, we must have food.
To give drink to the thirsty, we must have drink.
To clothe the naked, we must have clothing.
To harbour the harbourless, we must have shelter.
To visit the sick, we must have health.
To ransom the captive, we must be free.
To bury the dead, we must have land, money, etc.
To instruct the ignorant, we must have knowledge.
To counsel the doubtful, we must have counsel.
To admonish sinners, we must model piety.
To bear wrongs patiently, we must have pure hearts.
To forgive offences willingly, we must be merciful.
To comfort the afflicted, we must have that which comforts.
To pray for the living and the dead, we must be righteous.
Now, any idle religious person could talk about being "spiritual", "saved", etc.., but real religion is as much a material thing as a spiritual thing...that's the whole point of the incarnation. God became a man to save the world and called us to follow His example, not pretend we are angels who hover above the earth. When I consider what it means to "work out one's salvation", I don't believe that, as a layman, it means spending more and more time in prayer and contemplation. St. James directly contradicted that notion of religion.
"What shall it profit, my brethren, if a man say he hath faith, but hath not works? Shall faith be able to save him? And if a brother or sister be naked and want daily food: And one of you say to them: Go in peace, be ye warmed and filled; yet give them not those things that are necessary for the body, what shall it profit?"
Therefore, I don't want to talk religion without hands and feet. I want to feed the hungry and therefore I work that I may have something to share. I'm going to need to go out and sacrifice my comfort to compete in the world to earn or work the ground to produce the food that the hungry need. We don't walk into a grocery store with a "I'm a Catholic" button and get free food for the poor handed to us. We have to work for it and that brings us to the real world. A 30 year old man with a general education earning $35,000 a year in a cubicle, struggling to pay his family's rent isn't the kind of person feeding the poor in the world or doing most of the mercy work. The people doing the work of mercy in the world are primarily religious and secondarily the righteous wealthy who aren't killig themselves to earn their wealth. You'll notice that these are the same people who historically were most concerned with the classical liberal arts. As one who works directly with the Missionaries of the Poor, I can assure you that, when all is said and done the majority of the work of the MOP is done by a small group of wealthy benefactors who write the checks for the supplies needed and an army of religious who administer them on the ground. There is a lot of volunteer work, but they administer the supplies being donated by the benefactors, using buildings and equipment the benefactors have provided. Volunteers with good intentions don't put clothe naked children or harbor homeless elderly people. For example, the Holy Innocents Center opening in Jamaica, which will harbor 200 mothers and babies is being built in a building bought by one American man. The beautiful Chapel on Mt Tabor, where dozens of ignorant mountain children are instructed, was paid for by a single benefactor. We can't ignore the reality that, while all of the small gifts given help greatly, the works of mercy depend on the generosity of the righteous wealthy. Therefore, the idea that if we just spent more time hugging eachother and singing hymns rather than studying Grammar and learning philosophy we would do more spiritual good is simply lacking evidence. Go ask the missionaries what kind of people are on their calling list when they need help. It's not the laid-back Christians spending time sitting having "family-time", but movers and shakers who work that they may share and can balance BOTH the ability to generate income with the ability to live a holy life. ....The poor are not fed by grovelling wage-earners but by people who can keep their heads up and their eyes open while conducting their affairs in the world. That work takes great wisdom, cunning and self-motivation, which come not from English book reports and Math workbooks, but from the study of philosophy.
~Taken from comments by Wm Michael on the CLAA Forum, nothing was added, though it is slightly edited and rearranged.
The LIBERAL arts were historically studied by students who weren't concerned with making money. Such students were normally those who (a) belonged to wealthy families and didn't need to make money or (b) would one day take upon themselves the vow of poverty as religious and never work for money. No one was sitting around in the schools asking, "Is this going to help me get a job?" Of course, not, these are LIBERAL arts--the arts studied and used of those free from toil. ...[T]he classical liberal arts are not intended to make people wealthy if money is the chosen form of wealth. Kids who are destined to be "wage-earners" should be learning whatever the economy says needs to be learned.
When I talk about "wage-earners" I am referring to people who are simply doing something for a paycheck. That "something" is usually nothing they are happy about, interested in, etc.. They are living just to earn a wage. That, in the ancient world, was the life of a slave and not a free man...it is living to serve the happiness and increase the wealth of someone else for one's own basic needs. It is a life directed by the will of another, who is not even necessarily a good man or woman. It is a life where one's livelihood is in the hands of others and all he can do is hope they want him around. He can be replaced by 1,000 men and works for no lasting end.
Most people end up in that state because they WEREN'T properly prepared for adulthood, not because God willed it and forced them into it. It has nothing to do with farming or living in a suburb. It has to do with living for something greater than all the non-Christians around us are living for. Will we not differ from them in anything more than bumper stickers and Sunday activities? Is the Christian life really so near to the pagan life that a Christian and pagan man can spend the bulk of their days pursuing the same things?
I'm not interested in that sort of education and no one seeking such an education should pretend to have any interest in "classical" education....[I]f you know at age 5, 7, 8 or 12 that your son is destined to become one of 500 employees chained inside a cubicle under fluorescent lights, selling who-knows-what product to who-knows-who for a paycheck, then what's the point, really, of giving any attention to education beyond English and Arithmetic? This is the kind of argument made by modern schools that argue that kids shouldn't even learn to do Math any more, just use calculators. I mean, really, why bother with any learning at all if it's not necessary for that paycheck?
I just don't believe we are right in having such a dark and pessimistic view of kids. We're so impatient, and we spend time predicting the kids' futures based on their interests, attitudes and habits when they're hardly old enough to begin their studies and then, after we've removed them from all courses in life that would have enriched and edified them, we complain when they're shallow-minded and easily influenced by the world. Christian parents are raising kids with a fear of doing anything different, but then upset when their kids end up the same. I just don't get it.
THE PROBLEM IS THAT WE, IN DIRECTING OUR CHILDREN'S EDUCATION, SET THE LIMIT FOR WHAT OPTIONS WILL BE OPEN TO THEM IN THEIR ADULT LIFE.
I'll repeat that because it's the most important point I'll make:
THE PROBLEM IS THAT WE, IN DIRECTING OUR CHILDREN'S EDUCATION, SET THE LIMIT FOR WHAT OPTIONS WILL BE OPEN TO THEM IN THEIR ADULT LIFE.
If my son, for who knows what reason, would want to one day go find a job working in an office somewhere for as paycheck, he'd be able to with a classical liberal arts education. It would be a terrible waste, but the door would be open to him. He could do just about anything--from manage a farm to enter a monastery to pursue a medical degree. He's educated for life with a classical liberal arts education and is a "citizen of the world" (civis mundi) as Socrates said. If, on the other hand, I give him a bare-bones K-12 education, many doors are shut above him and those doors that are open to him are open to everyone else in his generation. Ultimately, he'll be competing with sinners for work and he'll be at a disadvantage. Can't work Sundays. Need time for family life. Have to support a family. Sinners may not have any such limitations...they can work 24/7, don't need to support anyone else, can travel anywhere and can even accept a lower wage. A future father is at a disadvantage in that job market and that's why Christian men should be discouraged from such a course. It isn't favorable for them.
Personally, I cannot understand why a boy with the prospect of spending his life toiling for a paycheck would not be intensely interested in religious life. Consider the freedom, the simplicity, the love and fellowship of the community, etc.. I can see a young man with a clear occupation provided for him, a successful and enjoyable family business, for example, choosing to remain in the world, start a family, live a balanced life of work, prayer and service, etc.. But a young man with no real plan, no clear vision for how he'll make it in business or trade choosing that instead of such a sure and stable path of life serving the Church without distraction? I don't understand it. Outside of America, this is just not how religious vocations are thought of. It is an American problem that religious life is seen to be a last-option ugly girl to be kept on hold just in case all the pretty girls turn our boys down. Other cultures consider religious life an honor for their families and one of the best ways of fulfilling the commandment to "honor your mother and father". Catholic schools that teach the boys the happiness of religious life, not surprisingly, produce many religious young men.
The question is not what the young boy thinks about the priesthood or religious life, or the learned professions.... He is supposed to be under the discipline and instruction of wiser and holier parents who are persuading him to pursue the best and happiest courses.
[I]t's the Church's mission--AS A WHOLE--to renew the world and that takes place at many different levels. We need to have a holistic understanding of the Church and her mission, not a silly evangelical "witness to your neighbor" idea that puts all kinds of fruitless pressure on people to neglect their daily responsibilities for some hope of converting random people. Does Hollywood gain its influence like that? Did Hitler gain his influence like that? No, they understand that society follows its leaders and the work of leaders trickles down from the highest places into the living rooms of every family by many different means.
St. Paul taught us how to understand the Church and its mission in 1 Corinthians 12:
"God indeed hath set some in the church; first apostles, secondly prophets, thirdly doctors; after that miracles; then the graces of healing, helps, governments, kinds of tongues, interpretations of speeches. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Are all workers of miracles? Have all the grace of healing? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret? But be zealous for the better gifts."
Therefore, the Church has many different "members" all of which perform a function within the "body of Christ" that is saving the world. The problem I have is that today, where all Christians are receiving a common education, who will the teachers be? When we look back through history, we see great doctors of the Church--St. Augustine, St. Thomas, St. Bonaventure, etc. We cannot imagine a Catholic Church without them. Doesn't anyone notice that nearly all of the doctors of the Church have something in common?
Personally, I think the whole "we need to be witnesses" hoopla that fills Christian circles has not been reflected on very much. It's lazy thinking that imagines that people need to be "reached" at the workplace. Can't they be left alone to WORK in the workplace? Do they producers of immoral music, pornography, heresies, etc., need to "reach" people at work? No, they primarily do their work in out-of-work social circles, schools and institutions that dominate people's lives. The Church is supposed to be one such dominating influence, but that dominance is weakening because it can't impact the higher levels of society for lack of wise, skilled manpower. Sure there are lots of faithful Catholic laypeople out there, complaining about bad Church music, bad Catholic colleges, bad Catholic schools, diminishing vocations, cloudy teaching, etc.. Well, why the heck do these problems exist? Because no one is committing themselves to raising children with mind prepared to do the work at the highest levels...to run universities, renew the priesthood, clarify Church teaching, transform monasteries, reform Church music, start new (and better) schools, etc.. Look, we've got lots of good Catholic accountants, carpenters, parish priests and housewives...but that's not where the problems are in our society. They're at the top and no one is "reaching" the sources of culture and ideas and social life that flow through the entire society. that is what is fundamentally different between modern Christianity and medieval Christianity. In medieval Christianity, the king of France was counseled by St. Thomas Aquinas and the entire nation was "reached" by true Christianity. Who reached more people, one wise man educated in the classical liberal arts or 10,000 Catholic laypeople in American cities? What we ignore is the fact that every society is dominated by certain philosophical ideas that fill that society like the air and influence everything. Fixing the philosophy fixes the society over time. Leaving the philosophy untouched or in the hands of others and working like crazy to fix all the effects of that philosophy is foolishness, not evangelism. Christianity was an obscure religion, hiding in caves and private meetings until...the Roman emperor converted. Then, almost overnight...the world was "reached", rather OVERTAKEN by Christianity. We've surrendered all of those victories in the past 200 years by allowing ourselves to be convinced that Christianity belongs back in the caves and private meeting rooms where it came from.
Jesus said, "Strike the shepherd and the sheep will be scattered." He taught that "No man can enter into the house of a strong man and rob him of his goods, unless he first bind the strong man, and then he shall plunder his house." David killed Goliath, and the Philistines were easily slaughtered.
Can't we see the problem? The leaders of the wicked movements and institutions sit in our society in ivory towers far from reach while silly Christians argue in the streets about things with people who are themselves controlled by others. Why then are we not training children to strike at the leaders of sinful society and bind the strong men in secular spheres? We're too busy engaging in fruitless works that the enemies of the Church don't fear because they know it's all bark and no bite.
Therefore, I don't believe this pressure to "REACH" others is a wise pressure, especially when young children have the opportunity to pursue the kind of learning that can equip them to get their hands at the springs from which all of the evils in our society flow and fix them there. That is the goal of the classical liberal arts.
[A]t the bare bones level, we must love God and our neighbor enter the kingdom of heaven. The ability to read Latin poetry, translate the Greek New Testament, use a potty, brush one's teeth, make bread, wash clothes, shovel snow, drive a car, write a check, mail a letter, deliver a baby and just about every other ability we can think of are not essential for eternal life.
Unfortunately, just as Jesus became a man and lived an ordinary human life, our salvation is worked in space and time. To perform the works of mercy, we must HAVE the things the needy NEED:
To feed the hungry, we must have food.
To give drink to the thirsty, we must have drink.
To clothe the naked, we must have clothing.
To harbour the harbourless, we must have shelter.
To visit the sick, we must have health.
To ransom the captive, we must be free.
To bury the dead, we must have land, money, etc.
To instruct the ignorant, we must have knowledge.
To counsel the doubtful, we must have counsel.
To admonish sinners, we must model piety.
To bear wrongs patiently, we must have pure hearts.
To forgive offences willingly, we must be merciful.
To comfort the afflicted, we must have that which comforts.
To pray for the living and the dead, we must be righteous.
Now, any idle religious person could talk about being "spiritual", "saved", etc.., but real religion is as much a material thing as a spiritual thing...that's the whole point of the incarnation. God became a man to save the world and called us to follow His example, not pretend we are angels who hover above the earth. When I consider what it means to "work out one's salvation", I don't believe that, as a layman, it means spending more and more time in prayer and contemplation. St. James directly contradicted that notion of religion.
"What shall it profit, my brethren, if a man say he hath faith, but hath not works? Shall faith be able to save him? And if a brother or sister be naked and want daily food: And one of you say to them: Go in peace, be ye warmed and filled; yet give them not those things that are necessary for the body, what shall it profit?"
Therefore, I don't want to talk religion without hands and feet. I want to feed the hungry and therefore I work that I may have something to share. I'm going to need to go out and sacrifice my comfort to compete in the world to earn or work the ground to produce the food that the hungry need. We don't walk into a grocery store with a "I'm a Catholic" button and get free food for the poor handed to us. We have to work for it and that brings us to the real world. A 30 year old man with a general education earning $35,000 a year in a cubicle, struggling to pay his family's rent isn't the kind of person feeding the poor in the world or doing most of the mercy work. The people doing the work of mercy in the world are primarily religious and secondarily the righteous wealthy who aren't killig themselves to earn their wealth. You'll notice that these are the same people who historically were most concerned with the classical liberal arts. As one who works directly with the Missionaries of the Poor, I can assure you that, when all is said and done the majority of the work of the MOP is done by a small group of wealthy benefactors who write the checks for the supplies needed and an army of religious who administer them on the ground. There is a lot of volunteer work, but they administer the supplies being donated by the benefactors, using buildings and equipment the benefactors have provided. Volunteers with good intentions don't put clothe naked children or harbor homeless elderly people. For example, the Holy Innocents Center opening in Jamaica, which will harbor 200 mothers and babies is being built in a building bought by one American man. The beautiful Chapel on Mt Tabor, where dozens of ignorant mountain children are instructed, was paid for by a single benefactor. We can't ignore the reality that, while all of the small gifts given help greatly, the works of mercy depend on the generosity of the righteous wealthy. Therefore, the idea that if we just spent more time hugging eachother and singing hymns rather than studying Grammar and learning philosophy we would do more spiritual good is simply lacking evidence. Go ask the missionaries what kind of people are on their calling list when they need help. It's not the laid-back Christians spending time sitting having "family-time", but movers and shakers who work that they may share and can balance BOTH the ability to generate income with the ability to live a holy life. ....The poor are not fed by grovelling wage-earners but by people who can keep their heads up and their eyes open while conducting their affairs in the world. That work takes great wisdom, cunning and self-motivation, which come not from English book reports and Math workbooks, but from the study of philosophy.
~Taken from comments by Wm Michael on the CLAA Forum, nothing was added, though it is slightly edited and rearranged.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
On reading and learning
"Nothing is more common in an age like this, when books abound, than to fancy that the gratification of a love of reading is real study. ...[there are many] who certainly have a taste for reading, but in whom it is little more than the result of mental restlessness and curiosity. Such minds cannot fix their gaze on one object for two seconds together; the very impulse which leads them to read at all, leads them to read on, and never to stay or hang over any one idea. The pleasurable excitement of reading what is new is their motive principle; and the imagination that they are doing something, and the boyish vanity which accompanies it, are their reward. Such youths often profess to like poetry, or to like history or biography; they are fond of lectures on certain of the physical sciences; or they may possibly have a real and true taste for natural {342} history or other cognate subjects;—and so far they may be regarded with satisfaction; but on the other hand they profess that they do not like logic, they do not like algebra, they have no taste for mathematics; which only means that they do not like application, they do not like attention, they shrink from the effort and labour of thinking, and the process of true intellectual gymnastics. The consequence will be that, when they grow up, they may, if it so happen, be agreeable in conversation, they may be well informed in this or that department of knowledge, they may be what is called literary; but they will have no consistency, steadiness, or perseverance; they will not be able to make a telling speech, or to write a good letter, or to fling in debate a smart antagonist, unless so far as, now and then, mother-wit supplies a sudden capacity, which cannot be ordinarily counted on. They cannot state an argument or a question, or take a clear survey of a whole transaction, or give sensible and appropriate advice under difficulties, or do any of those things which inspire confidence and gain influence, which raise a man in life, and make him useful to his religion or his country."
Cardinal John Henry Newmann
On the Idea of a University
Cardinal John Henry Newmann
On the Idea of a University
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Blessings from God
I have a clutch of wonderful friends! These are friends with whom I am competely comfortable, there is balanced give and take, and we can pick up right where we left off! I consider these friendships as part of the treasury of blessings bestowed upon me by God.
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