Parenting basics

Lately, I have received requests for parenting advice from homeschooling moms of big (and not so big) families. I am not a perfect mom and I'm well aware of my failings (number one among many, I lose my patience), but I suppose the compliment comes because the adults and their children enjoy my children's company. I have to admit that I enjoy my children's company, too! But often, I think they are so very enjoyable IN SPITE of me (read kind, helpful, playful, considerate, respectful of young & old).

That said, I'm going to step out on a limb & share some advice. Behavior is THE most important thing you can work on. Period. If the kids aren't behaving, you can be using the best curriculum in the world and you will be accomplishing nothing.

Specifically, work on the behavior of your eldest child first. Then work your way down the children. You may have darling toddlers, but if you have mouthy pre-teens, guess what? You'll soon have mouthy preschoolers. And more importantly, the elder of your children back you up & reinforce your lessons. This does not mean that you leave parenting to your eldest children, that's just a variation of "The Lord of the Flies," but it does mean that they are role models for your youngers.

And my last piece of advice is to be consistent and follow through. There is nothing more important than your children's behavior (FB, TV, dates with your hubby OR girlfriends). Don't despair when they give you a run for your money, kids WILL test every limit. But if you set clear limits & expectations and follow through with enforcing, punishing, or rewarding consistently, your children will slowly (yes, maybe years) come around.

And THAT is where the real fun begins! That is when the academics soar, the ability to trust your child with responsibilities begins, and your kids are simply a joy to be around. Once they learn self control, you can focus on all the wonderful things that life holds in store for them.

Enjoy your children every minute of everyday, but never lose sight of who you want them to be and consistently guide them to that goal.